Becoming The Part - Chapter Eight

Robyn has finally been discharged from the psychiatric ward but she is still required to take her medication and go to one-to-one therapy. She has already moved back into her apartment and sorted through it, clearing her wardrobe of her character’s costumes and throwing away anything that reminds her of that made-up life. She straightens her hair every morning instead of keeping it in the curly heap her character used to have.

She finds the script from the movie on her kitchen counter and throws it in the bin. Anything that is associated with the movie is cleared from her apartment and soon enough, it is almost empty. As if it is a brand new apartment just taken off the market. Robyn smiles. A simple, delicate smile as she feels a huge weight being lifted from her shoulders.

Robyn decides to go to the shop to buy some groceries for her very empty fridge on the way to her therapy session.

She finds herself looking at the ready-meals that she used to buy. It was always curry. That’s all she ever ate. Because it was her character’s favourite meal. She shakes her head and walks away, down the bread aisle when she recognises a familiar face passing by.

“Connor?”

Mike, the actor who played Connor, turns around and smiles once he sees it’s Robyn.

“Hey. How are you doing?” He asks. “And it’s Mike, by the way. Connor was my character, remember?”

“Yeah, of course. I’m good thanks.” Robyn nods. “I’ve been going to therapy and been taking my medication and I’ve made new friends.”

“That’s great.” Mike smiles. “You seem so much better. Just like how you used to be.”

Robyn smiles. “So, how are you?”

“I’m alright, yeah.” Mike replies. “I’ve just got a part in a new movie.”

“Wow that’s exciting!” Robyn exclaims. “You’ll have to text me when it’s in cinemas and I’ll come see it.”

“Yeah, I will do.” Mike says. “Anyway, I should be going but it was so great to see you and I’m so happy to see how well you’re doing.”

“It was nice to see you too.” Robyn hugs him. “I’ll see you around.

“See you around.” The two part ways, contentment filling Robyn as she finally feels as though she’s moved on and healed.

Robyn makes her way to Nancy’s office, two bags of groceries in her hands. She walks up to the front desk where the receptionist takes her name and puts it through to Nancy. Robyn is finally called through and sits down in front of Nancy.

“So, how have you been since you were discharged?” Nancy begins.

Robyn smiles and nods. “Good. Really good, actually. I cleared out my apartment and went grocery shopping.”

“I see that.” Nancy laughs slightly.

“Yeah, and I bumped into one of my old castmates whilst I was at the shops.” Robyn says. “Mike. He played my brother, Connor.”

“How did that go?” Nancy asks.

“Good, we just had a catchup and he’s been cast in a new film.” Robyn explains.

Nancy smiles. “Do you miss the movie and that life you believed you had?”

“I used to.” Robyn answers. “But I don’t anymore. I genuinely want to get better and become myself again.”

“Good.” Nancy nods. “So when was the last time you had a hallucination or delusion?”

Robyn thinks for a second and then her face softens as she realises how long ago it was. “The one I told you about in hospital.”

“Good, so your medication is working.” Nancy says. “How are you finding stress?”

“I’m not really getting stressed.” Robyn shrugs. “But when I do, I handle it how I used to. I either push through what is making me stressed or step away from it for a minute.”

Nancy takes notes down in her notebook. “And how are you finding sleep? Are you experiencing any insomnia?”

Robyn shakes her head. “No, I’ve been sleeping between eight and nine hours a night.”

“And you’re not getting disturbed during the night?” Nancy questions.

“No, I’m sleeping fully throughout the night.” Robyn replies.

“That’s good. Well I think that your treatment is working very well and if you keep progressing at this rate then there is no reason that you should decline.” Nancy states.

“Thank you.” Robyn responds before standing up and heading home.

When she gets home, she puts the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and starts to unpack them into the fridge and cupboards. Then she hears a knock at the door, throws the empty bags in the bin and opens the door to find June stood there.

“Hi, I hope I’m not too early.” June says.

“No, of course not.” Robyn opens the door wider to let her in. “I’m glad you came.”

“Me too.” June walks in and sits down at the kitchen table whilst Robyn begins to cook at the stove.

“I hope you like fajitas because that’s what I’m making for tea tonight.” Robyn says.

“I do.” June replies. “How have you been doing?”

“Yeah, good. I went to my therapy session today and Nancy said that I’m getting a lot better.” Robyn responds.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah.” Robyn turns around to glance at June. “What about you?”

“I’ve been really good, actually.” June nods and then they fall into a comfortable silence. “You know, I’m glad I met you. No matter how difficult it can get.”

Robyn frowns. “What does that mean?”

“Just that sometimes, it’s a little… chaotic trying to figure out what’s going through your mind.” June reluctantly replies.

“I’m not just chaos.” Robyn states.

“I know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” June sighs. “The thing is, it’s getting easier to read you. And you’re getting better. So I’m happy to see your progress.” Robyn nods and smiles before turning back to the cooking. “How about I set the table.”

“Yeah, sure.” Robyn shows June where the plates and cutlery are and she begins to set the table. “I wondered if I could ask you something.”

“Sure.” June starts placing plates down.

“What’s it like to not be able to feel any emotions?” Robyn questions.

June stops and stares at Robyn. “That was my character, remember? The psych ward was just another part of the story.”

Robyn frowns, confused. Surely it wasn’t. Surely it was all real. It felt like it. “Yeah.” She lies. “Yeah, no of course. I know that. Sorry sometimes I just get a little confused but I am getting better.”

“You sure you’re okay?” June asks.

“Yeah.” Robyn nods. “I’m fine.”

Their night soon comes to an end and Robyn shows June to the door. And then she waits. She waits to hear the elevator doors ding open. And then she hears June’s footsteps enter it and the doors close. The rumble of the elevator going down signifies that June has definitely left and Robyn rushes to her bedroom, into the ensuite bathroom where she undresses herself, gets into the shower and lets the cool water wash out her straightened hair as the curls reform. She thinks about what June said. How the psych ward was part of the story. But it couldn’t have been. It wasn’t. She goes into her wardrobe and picks out a pair of jeans and a cropped hoodie. The same jeans and hoodie her character owned. She looks in the mirror at her outfit and hair; she looks exactly like her character. And that’s when she realises she isn’t any better. Because June was never in the apartment. The psych ward was real. But June being over tonight was just a hallucination. She thinks back to the movie and the psych ward and she realises that she never heard anyone say her name. Is she called Robyn or is her character called Robyn?

She leaves her bedroom and goes over to one of the cupboards, opens it and finds many, many curry ready-made meals. She takes one out and puts it on to the counter. Then she hears the door creak open. Robyn reaches into the draw closest to her. She looks over to the door to see it wide open. She hears a sound behind her and rapidly turns around.

BANG. A gun shot goes off.